six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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