if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
