So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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