Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
