If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
