I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
