So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
