wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
