Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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