This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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