He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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