i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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