Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
