So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
