i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How does it feel to date your dad?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
