my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
