Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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