I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
