you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
