Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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