Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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