and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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