I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
