i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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