I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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