why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
