Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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