i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
