Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
