Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
