uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
