We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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