He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
