just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
