Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
