Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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