did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
