Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
