i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
