I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
