She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
