I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
