Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
