We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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