Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
