Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
