All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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