i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
soo... how was my night?
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