i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
