you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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