Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
