he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
