Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
