Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i need an iv and a liver transplant
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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